Dreaming and Complaining

A great nights sleep with lots of dreams is a wonderful thing. If you are lucky enough is remember your dreams you have a small insight into your subconscience. Your dreams are an extension of your conscious mind. You wake up and feel great, remembering all that your dream had to show you. These glimpses you have are showing you your true potential. Dreams show you what you can achieve and all that you can become. 

We wake up and begin our day and we forget our dreams ever so quickly. We clomp about our day and encounter different things. This is when we start to complain. Sometimes we complain out loud and sometimes we keep it inside. We bury our complaints and pretend they are not there or we find those like minded and let our complaints be heard. 

Amazingly enough dreaming and complaing are extremely similar. They both lead to nothing, achieve nothing, and will soon fade away into your mind. Don’t be this type of person. Rather then complain or to let your dreams fade away, do something. 

Your complaints will disappear when you start doing something about them. Complain, figure out how to fix it, and then work to remedy this problem. Sounds easy but this takes time and work. It takes you doing something about it. Work on the things you don’t  like in you life and soon you will have nothing to complain about. 

Dreams only fade when you wake up because you choose to do nothing. Just like fixing complaints in your life, it takes work. Remember you dreams and work to achieve them. If you dream about a better  job, then start looking. If you dream about a partner then start dating. Whatever your dream is it will take work to accomplish. 

Complaining and dreaming are completely different actions. Yet they are quite similar and will be achieved in the same way. Once started your life will begin changing in ways that you will not be able to explain. Your complaints will fade and your dreams will become a reality. 

Meditation

Simply described is thinking or focusing deeply. Most people do not meditate or meditate is very small burst. We have all been studying for school or at work and we tell ourselves, “Come on, we need to focus.” This is usually due to our scattered mind wandering while we are set at a singular task. This lack of focus, on whatever we are doing, causes self doubt and most of the time negative self talk. 

Everyday we should set time aside alone to just reflect on our day. Disregard all the issues that are happening, all the things we need to get done, and just silence our thougbts. Moat of us cannit compketely silence our thoughts so we should at least focus them. 

Sit alone and slow your breath. Focus on your breathing. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this slowly and calmly. Try to not think about anything that is going on currently or anything that will have to be done once you finish. Listen to your breath, feel your heart beat slow as you relax. Continue this for as long as it takes for you to remember that you were trying to forget everything.  Sounds odd, I know. Once you have forgotten that you were trying to forget things you have completed your meditation. 

Some people continue with their meditation beyond this point because they start to enjoy this clarity. It is a cleansing of the thoughts. You know longer have “a thousands” things on your mind. You have , in essence, reset your brain. Once you stop meditating you will be able to focus on the task at hand better. You mind will have a single goal and be able yo perform at it peak potential. 

As you get better at .meditating you will be able to achieve this clarity at a faster and more efficient pace. At first thing could take you 30 minutes or more, to achieve this clarity. No doubt that with practice you will be able to obtain this type of focus in a matter of a few minutes. You will be able to stop whatever you are doing, take a few breathes and refocus on whatever you are doing. A clarity of thought will allow you to be in the moment and really focus on being happy. 

Bad Days

We have all had bad days and we will all have bad days in the future. No matter what we do things will not always go as we plan. The only choice we have is how these occurrences will change the course of the day. We can make the choice to either let our day continue to fall prey to the negativety or rise above it. 

There will be days that no matter what you do or try you will not be able to shake this bad day. Things will seem hopeless and you will feel like this day will never end. All days end. The bad day that you are having is like all other days. It will come and go and you will move on. If you stop and think, can you even remember your last real bad day? I know that I can’t. During the day you need to try and focus on the good things in your life no matter how small or insignificant they may be. The good things may be as simple as I ate a good breakfast or I have a day off coming in the near future. These little things need all of your attention on your bad days. If you focus on the aspects of life that are discouraging you and sapping your happiness, you are just giving those things power over you. You need to take that power back and focus on only good things. Focus on your own happiness. Focus on that great breakfast you had, on all the things you can accomplish on your day off, and take the power back from the bad day. You are stronger then any bad day. The day will come and go and you will persevere. 

Mindfulness

Lao Tzu said it best “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” 

Being mindful means to be fully aware and conscious of something. Make that something, yourself. Take a moment to think about how you feel, what is going on in your life, and how it is affecting you. 

If something happened to you in the past and it is on your mind it is okay to acknowledge it, but dont let it controls your attitude for the day. Take time to think about it, contemplate what steps to take because it happened, and then move on. You are the sum of your experiences and they have helped to shape you into the person that you are today. Be happy with who you have become because no one else has gone through exactly what you have. 

But what if you are busy worrying about the future and the things that may happen? The best advise that I can give you is that the future is always changing. You cannot control the future, you can only help it to take shape. You shape the future with the things that you do today. Rather then living in the future you should focus on the present. The things that you do today will become your future. The quote that was originally used for farmers says it best, ” You reap what you sow.” It literally means what you do now will lead to what you have in the future. 

Throughout the day you need to stop a moment and take a moment to be mindful. Look around you. Take in the sights, smells the aromas that surround you, and ask yourself “How am I doing right now?” This little step done throughout the day will assist you in being mindful. This keeps you from living in the past with depression, living in the future with anxiety, and will keep you in the present, at peace. 

Date night

Usually, date nights are meant for couples. At the root it is two people getting to know each other better, spending time together, and doing stuff they both enjoy.  If you really look at the activities that go on during a date, they can all be done as an individual. 

Go on a date with yourself. Take some time to get to know yourself. Think about your dreams, your desires, and your future. Go out and do the things that you enjoy doing. Do what ever you want to do. Go out, stay in, hang out with friends, go do what makes you happy. Enjoy yourself and be happy doing the things that make you happy. While doing all of this you will come to find out more about yourself. These activities should be your focus in your life. Don’t go looking for happiness. If you are doing things that make you happy, You are already there. 

Confidence

Who are you? What do you enjoy doing? Where do you enjoy going? To be confident you have to know the things you like, the things that make you happy, and these things will assist you to be confident. Confidence will bring your self esteem to a peak. Self esteem leads to positivity in you life. Posiitivity leads to happiness. Those people that do not know themselves will never truly be happy because they are going through life doing and being what they think others want them to do and be. 

Some self introspection can go a long way. Looking at who you are, what you want to do, and what kind of person you want to be known as is a key subject when being happy. Take the time to write things down, record your thoughts, just make things tangible. Until you bring your ideals outward they are merely figments of your subconscious. You must bring to the forefront of your mind all of your dreams and desires. They must be all you think about and all you want to acheive. Once these thoughts run how you live your life you will start achieving all of your dreams and desires. It only takes for you to start. You can be confident, you can happy, and you can do anything you set your mind to. Say it out loud, “I will be confident, i will be happy, and i will start.” 

Anger

The things that happen to you don’t have to make you angry. Being angry is your choice, and you should choose to be happy. You cannot change or choose what happens to you but you decide how you react to them. 

When you wake up it’s your choice, you can either continue with your normal routine or you can make the choice to be happy no matter what occurs. You can be angry with the fact that you have to go to work or be happy that you have a job to go to. When you get to work you may encounter people who are angry and choose to take there anger out on you. Do you react to there anger by combating it with more of the same or do you temper the situation with happiness. It is my experience with angry people that they just need a soundboard to hear them out. They choose to react with anger because they woke up that morning and choose that path.  Once they are heard they calm down quite quickly.  If you try and battle them with anger of your own you are merely putting gasoline on the fire of anger. Their anger grows and the situation escalates. Instead, hear them out, don’t speak, just listen.  They will eventually fizzle out, just like a fire without fuel. Once the fire is gone, ask if you can help. Don’t offer an answer unless they ask for one. Most people just want you to show merit to their issue. 

On the way home from work a car is speeding through the traffic and cuts you off. This used to be one of the most aggravating things for me to encounter. I would be so angry I would be yelling in my car as if the person in the other vehicle could hear me.  I would get so angry. One day I found myself speeding through traffic and I cut someone off. I really needed to use the restroom and I felt bad for the person I cut off. This was a moment of enlightenment for me. Maybe the people that cut me off need to use the restroom as badly as I did that day. Now when someone cuts me off in traffic I tell myself, they need to use the restroom. Guess what, I don’t get mad at them. 

Granted all the people I encounter won’t be receptive of my happiness but I take solice in the fact that I did not respond with anger. I choose to be happy and no matter what happens. 


The meaning

To be happy and to bring happiness into your life you need to know what it is. For each of us this can be different and may even be tangible or intangible. You may already know what makes you happy and some of us may not. 

If you already know what makes you happy then your focus should be to eliminate the things in your life that takes that happiness away from you. This may be people you associate with that consistently bring your mood down. It may be job you dont like going to. It could even be a problem in your life that needs to be dealt with that you keep putting off. Whatever brings your happiness level down you must first acknowledge it, accept that it is an issue, then you can properly address it. Once this is done you can focus on brining your happiness to the forefront of your life. 

For those of us that have trouble identifying what brings us happiness that is our first task. We must take the time to look at our life and decern what makes us happy. Think about your day, what do you do that you take enjoyment in?  Is there a specific activity you enjoy doing? Is there a person you enjoy being with? What makes you happy? Once you figure out what makes you happy, you should spend more time doing it. This should go without saying but alot of people tend to neglect themselves and what makes us happiest. 

Take some time to really think about what makes you. Look at yourself, look at your life, and be happy. 

Mirror

Most people have a very negative self image. Whether we were teased growing up or we try and compare ourselves to other. We look into the mirror and see only negatives: I have acne, I have a big nose, I’m overweight, and whatever else. Not only is this a horrible way to start the day it only perpetuates itself and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

 When you get up in the morning, remember Happiness is a choice. Look into that mirror and talk to yourself. Self talk is such a strong influencer. We should all look in the mirror and see someone we can be proud of. No one has been through what you have been through and no one controls how you feel but you. When you wake up, look into that mirror and say out loud, “Today, I choose to be happy.” Be better then you were yesterday. If you have acne, wash your wash with a new cleanser. If you are overweight and want to change, go to the gym or prepare some meals for the week. What if your unhappy with the size of your nose? Know that the specific trait you have is original and no one else has a trait quite like that. Learn to love your originality. Choose to be happy. Look at yourself, you are great just the way you are. Keep telling yourself that and that will be your new self fulfilling prophecy.  

Remember, Happiness is a choice. 

Saying No

The word “No is so very powerful. It does not need a reason or an explanation. 

When your goal is choose happiness the word No can be your best friend. Do you want to go, can you do me a favor, can I borrow, and whatever else people may question you for, if they are not in your best interest, just say no. They most likely will ask for an explanation if the form of ” Why not?” All you have yo do is say that you don’t want to do that. Most of us feel obligations towards those that we are close to and will assist however we can even if it is a detriment to our happiness.  We would rather sacrifice in our own life then to have someone else judge us for not doing something. 

Stop caring what others think about you. Be you, be the best version of you that you can be. True friends will accept you for who you are and others will slowly fall away. Let them. Fake people who are only around you for the things that you can do for them are not the type of people that you want to associate with. If you have to choose between doing something for them and choosing happiness, you are better off being happy.